I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
