theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
