i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
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