we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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