and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the day after is always just damage control
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize