No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
