opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
