I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
