That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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