I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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