I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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