I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
