May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
