He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
