he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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