Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
