I wanna bring you to show and tell
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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