I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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