The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
