Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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