Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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