did you get engaged???
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
