I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
