Apparently you make a good broom.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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