I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
