FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
