is your mom at the bar?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
