well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
