Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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