I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
