i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
