great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
