# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
