Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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