I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
