Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
