I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
