sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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