Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
