ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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