he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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