idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Holy shit dude........stairs
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
