quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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