If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
