you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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