I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
