in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i think im in europe. pls send help
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
