Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
