Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
