I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
