the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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