Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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