as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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