Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize