I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
