bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize