walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
