Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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