Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
