and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
