Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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