Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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