they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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