What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
