Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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