you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize