So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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