You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
