I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
