Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
