he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
