Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
